Leviathan's Lament Read online

  Matheus wandered in, smothering a yawn and tugging his ridiculous vest straight before he reached over to ruffle Grey’s hair. Grey rolled her eyes up at the tall, skinny guy. “Who wears a damned vest and tie on a Saturday morning?”

  Mat winked. “Always dress to impress, sweetheart.”

  Grey dodged out from under the long fingers combing through her hair, feeling like a troll next to Matheus, as usual. The guy always looked like he was ready to seduce at moment’s notice, his brown waves longer on top than the sides, arranged to look artless and natural, when really he’d probably spent half an hour in front of the mirror primping. He could definitely teach Grey a few things about girly self-care stuff, if Grey gave enough fucks to ask.

  The bassist went and folded himself into an overstuffed chair across from Grey and Ethan. “My god, what are you grinning about at this time of day, you overgrown golden retriever,” he sneered at Ethan.

  Ethan just smiled harder. “I’m hoping we get to leave the island.”

  Oh. Grey hadn’t thought about that. Hadn’t thought about much of anything this morning, really, other than her pounding headache and the lingering panicked feeling that came from dreaming you were trapped somewhere cold and dark where no one could hear you scream for help.

  But Ethan was right. Sooner or later they had to start traveling, playing gigs off the island, right? Lucifer was gaining popularity every day. Grey still forgot sometimes that she was part of an up-and-coming rock band with actual fans.

  The doorbell rang and Grey heard Luca’s husky alto voice as she greeted George. They came into the room a few minutes later, each of them holding a drink carrier loaded with fancy coffees and danishes. Luca’s dark blue eyes met Grey’s and she frowned slightly, coming over to offer a cup with Grey’s name written on it.

  “You okay?” she asked quietly as the other guys gave George shit for the pencil skirt and six-inch heels she was currently sporting like a pro.

  Grey took the coffee cup. “Sure.” She took a sip of her peppermint mocha and closed her eyes, sighing in bliss, praying to whatever gods were listening that the espresso helped ease her headache. Luca set the drink carrier aside and perched on the arm of the couch, reaching out to stroke Grey’s hair and tuck a curl behind her ear.

  For fuck’s sake, why did everyone have to play with her hair? She was feeling crappy enough this morning that she let herself lean into the touch, ever so slightly.

  Luca’s lips twitched upward, and she leaned down to whisper in Grey’s ear. “If you’re having that much trouble sleeping, you can always come sleep with me. Seemed to do the trick the other day.”

  Grey licked her lips and tried not to show how the warm caress of Luca’s breath on her earlobe made her want to purr. “Noted,” she said dryly.

  “Luca? Grey?” George said, voice laced with exasperation.

  Luca sat up and gave George a bland look. “Georgianna?”

  Their manager snorted and arched a perfectly plucked brow at them. “Nothing’s changed, I see. Can you two stop with the flirting long enough to have an actual discussion? I said how do you feel about going to the mainland?”

  Grey shifted further away from Luca, surprised at how much she actually missed the closeness. “When?”

  That was really the only question. Of course everyone wanted to get the hell off the island they’d been imprisoned on for almost five years. It made Grey giddy to think of it. She’d finally get to see the outside world. It was pathetic, how much that made her want to dance with joy.

  But under it all was a little sliver of anxiety—a part of her that said they’d never be able to leave the island. Attempting to leave during the curse would have resulted in insanity or death. It was still hard to believe that danger was gone for good. She wrapped her free hand around the kleidí as she took another sip of her coffee.

  George grinned. “Looks like maybe late next month. I’m looking into venues and seeing how fast we can set up ticketing and all that. Given how popular you guys are, it won’t be that hard to sell out a last-minute show. And I think we all need to get off this fucking rock for a while. Maybe we can line up a few performances on the east coast.”

  Grey set her drink on the coffee table. She could feel the tremor of excitement that vibrated through Ethan where his knee touched hers. Even Mat was smiling. “I’m definitely in,” she said, hoping she sounded more enthusiastic than she felt thanks to the headache and the stupid anxiety. She turned and glanced at Luca to see what she thought, to find her frowning at Grey, her deep blue eyes directed at where Grey still unconsciously gripped the kleidí. “Luca?”

  The guitarist blinked and dragged her eyes upward, studying Grey for a second more with that weird intensity before she turned to smile at George. “Oh, yeah. Definitely in. But I’m going to need to practice like hell.” She flexed her fingers and Grey caught a glimpse of the raw-looking fingertips where she was still trying to rebuild her callouses after the whole body-swap thing.

  Grey felt like a complete ass. She’d been so wishy-washy and so hard on Luca, when Luca had never been anything but accepting and tolerant toward Grey, even when she was a guy. And now that they were back, Luca was struggling, but Grey was too caught up in her pity party to really notice. “Maybe we should wait until Luca’s ready,” she said, squaring her shoulders and preparing to do battle if Matheus started in with his bullshit.

  But apparently, whatever they’d talked about the other day had helped smooth things out. Mat just rolled his eyes. “Sure, whatever the princess needs. But I want to get off this damned island as soon as we can.”

  Ethan smiled softly and nodded. “We’ll wait if you need, Luca. No problem.”

  Luca shook her head. “No. I’ll make sure I’m ready.” She glanced at George. “Just let us know when you get something firm.”

  George’s smile was infectious. “You guys are gonna kill out there. I just know it.” That smile was all happiness, but it still contained shark teeth. Grey was just glad she was smiling at them currently, rather than yelling.

  George stayed to chat with them while they all sipped their coffee and ate their pastries, then she was off to plot and plan. Grey managed a half-smile when she realized she’d have to tell Abbie the good news. Her best friend was their costumer, and she would insist on going with them. There was probably going to be so much shopping. The stores on the mainland were about to be hit by hurricane Abs. It was a terrifying thought—Grey hated shopping—but Abbie deserved to have some fun. She’d had a hard time of it during The Change.

  Luca stood and followed George out, muttering about how she needed to practice if she was ever going to get back to pre-swap levels of awesomeness. Ethan shifted forward in his seat and ruffled Grey’s hair again, grinning when Grey batted his hand away and tried to re-order her curls.

  Ethan’s sky-blue eyes met hers and his expression softened, losing the smiling mask and showing her something real. “How are you doing, Grey?” he said, lifting a hand to rub at one of the tattoos on his upper arm. “You look tired.”

  Grey sighed. “Headaches and bad dreams. It’ll pass.”

  Ethan reached out and put a big, warm hand on her back, rubbing in soothing circles. “Sorry. Let me know if there’s anything I can do, okay?”

  Grey gave him a wry half-smile. “You don’t need to worry about me, Eth. I know you’ve got a lot on your plate too. How’s your mom doing?”

  He let his hand fall away, and Grey reached for it, giving his fingers a squeeze. “She’s...about the same, I guess? I hoped being changed back would just magically cure everything, you know? But it’s not that easy.”

  Grey nodded. No. It wasn’t. “If you ever want to talk about it, you can,” Grey said, squeezing his hand again before releasing him. “Believe me, I get it. You don’t have to keep it all bottled up inside.”

  He nodded. “Thanks.” Then he stood and left the room, whistling softly like he was nothing but the happy-go-lucky blond hottie he portrayed.
>
  Grey felt even more tired than before. She startled when long fingers dragged through her damned hair again. She’d been watching Ethan, and Mat was so quiet she’d forgotten he was still there. “Jumpy,” he said, still messing with her hair. “Ethan’s right, you look tired.”

  Grey snorted. “Is that you guys’ way of telling me I look like shit?”

  Mat trailed his fingers along the rim of Grey’s ear and to her jaw, pressing gently to tilt her head up so she was looking at him. “Nah. You’re still passable.” He smirked.

  Grey tried to pull away, but Mat wouldn’t let her. “Hey. Seriously. The Swap Back is one thing, but you’ve got a bunch of other shit going on too. I know what it’s like to feel like you just can’t handle it all. Ethan...and me...we just want to make sure you know you don’t have to handle it all alone. Yeah?”

  Grey stared up into those hooded hazel eyes. Was Mat being...serious? No way. It must be the apocalypse or something. “Are you okay?” she muttered.

  He smirked, expression going all sultry. “I can be...attentive...when I want to be.”

  Grey pulled back, suddenly flushed and not entirely certain she wanted Mat’s attention . The guy was a tried-and-true man-whore. And his teasing just reminded her of all the possibilities she’d dreamed of back before the Swap Back. Things she should not be thinking about right now.

  He smiled faintly. “Luca did say she’d share. That probably hasn’t changed just because you both have vaginas now.” He shrugged, and Grey knew he was enjoying her discomfort. “Let me know when you guys work things out. I’ll be here.” He chuckled. “And I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one. In case you’re wondering, I think you’re just as cute in girl form as you were in guy form. I really would have enjoyed having you fuck me, but, eh. We can always get you a strap-on.”

  Grey put her face in her hands and let out a mortified groan. “Go away.”

  He chuckled. “For the record, I know Ethan was into you as a guy, but he’s way more into women, usually. So you won’t have to work hard to convince him to join in.”

  Grey straightened and grabbed a throw pillow off the couch, launching it at Mat’s head as hard as she could. He oofed as he caught it and dropped it in a chair, his deep chuckle fading as he high tailed it out of the room.

  For fuck’s sake. Could life get any weirder?

  Chapter 7

  Things slowly fell into a more comfortable rhythm in the weeks leading up to Lucifer’s next concert. The band was sounding better and better—and more importantly, some of the awkward tension was slowly bleeding away as they all adjusted to the new normal.

  Grey and Luca got a separate dressing area for this performance, which was held in an old opera house on Etna island. The historic venue accommodate a smaller audience than they were getting used to, but it was a nice change of pace. It took some of the pressure off, and the whole band seemed a little more upbeat.

  Brian and his minions finished with the girls and headed over to the guys while Luca and Grey double checked their costumes and headed out to make sure everything on stage was set up the way they liked it. They waved to Cam in passing. The blond jock looked more comfortable than Grey had ever seen him in a band t-shirt and worn jeans as he helped a couple of others lug around equipment. He hadn’t decided what he wanted to do with his life yet, so he was kicking around helping their set-up crew. It was weird, but Luca’s brother the hometown football star really did seem to be happy working for them. And now that the quarantine was lifted, it would offer the chance to travel. It just went to show that you never knew when someone was going to surprise you.

  Grey was distracted from her thoughts by Luca’s soft laugh. The guitarist was fiddling with the mic stand, and Grey gave her a wry smile. “They did it again, didn’t they?”

  Luca rolled her eyes. “I don’t get it. It’s not like it’s hard to remember.” She readjusted the mic to the right height, then stood back to let Grey make sure it was acceptable.

  Grey wasn’t much shorter now than she had been as a guy, but still, it was enough that things had to be set up differently to be comfortable. “It’s fine,” she muttered. “I hardly ever leave the thing on the stand anyway.”

  Luca shrugged. “Still. I bet it was Cam. He has to be doing in on purpose. I’m gonna kick him in the nuts.”

  Grey huffed a laugh. Nothing had changed between the siblings at all since the Swap Back. They still sounded like they hated each other most of the time, when in reality they were super close. “You guys are so dumb.”

  Luca smiled at Grey, warm and easy, and Grey knew she felt it too—how they were falling into their old patterns like it was the most natural thing in the world. Looping an arm around Grey’s shoulders, Luca steered her toward the dressing rooms again. “Let’s go make sure the idiots are ready. They’re probably driving Brian and Abbie crazy.”

  Grey guiltily leaned into Luca’s side, letting herself take comfort in the easy contact. She did miss Luca, badly. She knew, at some level, that the man she’d loved so much was still right there beside her. But she didn’t want to encourage Luca—to get her hopes up and promise something that in the end she couldn’t deliver. Grey had never been romantically interested in a woman before. And she still wasn’t interested in women, in general. It wasn’t like she had the sudden urge to check out chicks on the street or watch lesbian porn or something. But...the thought of turning and pulling Luca into her arms, pulling her down for a kiss...well, for some reason Luca was different. She could easily imagine herself responding to Luca’s touch, no matter what body she was in.

  But what if she was wrong? What if she pulled Luca down for that kiss and realized it was a complete turn-off? What if she had to tell Luca that Grey’s love wasn’t strong enough to overcome the same challenges that Luca had seen as insignificant? Deep inside, Grey was terrified that she just wasn’t good enough for Luca, that she wasn’t a good enough person to love her the way she deserved—unconditionally and no matter what body she was wearing. Gods, Grey felt so... small and narrow-minded next to Luca. She always had.

  She firmly pushed her obsessive thoughts away as they burst in on Matheus and Ethan, busting them in the middle of destroying all of their stylist’s hard work. “Touch that makeup remover, Ethan,” Luca warned with a glare, “and you won’t be able to play without crying, because I’ll break every one of your damned fingers.”

  Ethan sighed and put down the cotton ball he’d been holding. His sky-blue eyes practically glowed thanks to all the eyeliner, and his bleach-blond hair was arranged into punk-like disarray. “Come on. No one even looks at me anyway. I’m just the drummer.”

  Grey raised her eyebrows and pointedly let her eyes trail over Ethan’s muscular form, taking in the clingy sleeveless tank that showed off his impressive tattoos and broad chest. “Yeah, right.”

  Mat laughed, his expression going all sultry as he flicked his eyes between Luca and Grey. “Whiney here is right,” he purred. “No one is looking at him and his stupid toy drums when you two are strutting across the stage inspiring wet dreams.”

  Luca punched him in the arm, and he let out a hiss of pain. “Come on, morons,” she said calmly. “We’ve got a show to do.”

  Ethan brushed past them, humming a line of one of their newer songs, his gaze distant and mind obviously already on the show. Grey turned to go, but she couldn’t help but notice Mat slinging an arm around Luca’s shoulder and whispering something in her ear that made the unflappable guitarist blush and bite her bottom lip, worrying the shiny hoop there.

  Mat’s hazel eyes met Grey’s and he winked. Shit. He was up to something. And that was never good.

  The show went smoothly, everything falling into place in a way that it hadn’t since the Swap Back. Grey drank it all in, soaring high on the emotion she could feel pouring out of the crowd as she sang. Her connection to the energy around her was stronger than ever since she was back in her female body. Sometimes she had trouble reining it in.

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nbsp; Grey saw it coming, but her head was all floaty and full of power and magic. Just like last time, she didn’t react fast enough. Luca slung her guitar over her shoulder and grasped Grey’s face in her long hands. The mic stand fell over with a deafening bang, but Grey didn’t even try to make a grab for it. Her eyes were locked on Luca’s, her heart thundering away like a frightened rabbit. Luca’s soft lips covered hers and Grey fisted her hands in the sleeves of Luca’s shirt, caught between fighting and surrender, nearly giving in to the urge to flick her tongue over that sexy lip piercing. The lights went down, and the crowd roared, discernible even over the rush of ocean waves that pounded in Grey's head. Apparently, this was their new signature move.

  Grey shoved Luca off and stormed away. Backstage she rounded on the svelte, leggy guitarist, memories of the time Luca had pulled this same stunt as a guy flitting through her head. Mat and Ethan beat a hasty retreat, but Grey could have sworn Matheus was laughing. Well, now she knew what he’d been scheming. “What the hell Luca?”

  She just grinned, all long, lean and completely unrepentant in her tall boots and leather pants. “What?”

  Grey glared. Her body was flushed and her mind confused. She was a woman—and yet.... “I said we’d talk about it later. Not ‘hey let’s make out on stage!’”

  Luca struck a sultry pose against one of the speaker boxes and tossed her dark hair. "Do you remember how you stormed into that underwater palace a few weeks ago?”