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  Leviathan's Lament

  Depths Duology, Volume 2

  Kaye Draper

  Published by Kaye Draper, 2021.

  This is a work of fiction. Similarities to real people, places, or events are entirely coincidental.

  LEVIATHAN'S LAMENT

  First edition. May 26, 2021.

  Copyright © 2021 Kaye Draper.

  Written by Kaye Draper.

  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Copyright Page

  Dedication

  Leviathan's Lament (Depths Duology, #2)

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  Chapter 24

  Chapter 25

  Chapter 26

  Chapter 27

  Chapter 28

  Chapter 29

  Chapter 30

  Chapter 31

  Chapter 32

  Chapter 33

  Chapter 34

  Chapter 35

  Chapter 36

  Chapter 37

  Epilogue

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  Also By Kaye Draper

  About the Author

  I value every one of my readers and friends who support me in the crazy, wonderful adventure of writing. Thank you to all my patrons. A special thanks to RepunZill Oriana, Kate McKenney, S.G., Verity St Clair-Prime, and S.W. for helping me create. Thanks to Frank Boston for the alpha reading and constant encouragement. And thanks to my proofreading team for making things pretty. I couldn’t make this dream into a reality without you!

  “Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along.” –Rumi

  Chapter 1

  Ethan adjusted his sunglasses and glanced down at the paper program in his hand. He was glad the weather was back to normal since the Swap Back. Outdoor graduations were so much nicer than being crammed into a stuffy auditorium somewhere, and it really was a beautiful spring day.

  Mat shifted at his side, crossing his arms over his chest and muttering something about how needlessly drawn-out schools always made these things. Ethan didn’t bother shushing him. He knew Mat was just as proud of Luca and Grey as Ethan was, but Mat was probably a little uncomfortable too. The bassist was the youngest of them all. By all rights, he should still be in school himself, finishing the design degree he’d started. But Mat had dropped out when his mom died. She had left him a big enough life insurance policy to pay for the house and get by on whatever part time job he decided to pick up from time to time. Ethan wasn’t about to judge him for that, since Ethan wasn’t exactly using his own schooling these days either. But he was sure Mat had some regrets. Not that he’d ever admit it.

  Ethan could definitely understand that. He was older than the others by quite a few years. He’d completed his certified nursing assistant training before The Change, but he hadn’t worked in patient care for long before it became apparent the patient who needed him the most was his own mother. He didn’t blame her for the way things had turned out. He was glad he’d been able to step up and help when her mental illness got the best of her. But it was nice to know Luca and Grey wouldn’t have those sorts of regrets and what-ifs lingering over their heads.

  He smiled so hard his face hurt, clapping as hard as he could when each of his bandmates stood to receive their diplomas—Luca’s in advanced music theory and Grey’s in biology. He knew they both planned to stick with the band. But it was good to know they had options.

  His smiled dimmed a bit at the thought of why they might need alternative options to being part of Lucifer. Things with the band just weren’t right since the Swap Back. Ethan wanted to say it would all be okay. That they’d work it out eventually. But sometimes his optimism failed him, and he just felt lost. What would he do if he lost them all, now that they finally had the chance to really know the women who had once been their best male friends? Hell, if Luca and Grey couldn’t even manage to stay together when he knew they loved each other, what chance did the rest of the band have?

  His chest hurt.

  Matheus nudged him with a bony elbow as the crowd stood and started shuffling off to mingle with the grads. “Come on, you look as broody as everyone always accuses me of being. Let’s go dodge autographs, give the girls their pretty flowers, and get the fuck out of here so we can wash all the frat and sorority off us before it rots our brains.”

  Ethan huffed a laugh and shook his head at his bandmate, thinking at least one thing hadn’t changed. Mat was still Mat. Even if he did seem to be more upset than he let on.

  Ethan got the feeling it wasn’t just Luca’s deception that had wounded the flirty bassist. Sometimes he caught Mat looking at Grey with this wistful expression, like he was mourning.

  “Fine,” he said, suddenly desperate to make Mat feel better. “You do all the schmooze-talking and get us out of it quick, and I’ll buy you coffee on the way home.”

  Mat gave him a firm handshake in response. “Deal.”

  Chapter 2

  Grey tugged up her jeans for the millionth time over her newly curvy hips and ass. If there was one thing she missed about being a guy, it was how damned easy it was to find clothes that actually freaking fit. Taking a deep breath, she squared her shoulders and forced herself to walk into the townhouse studio room, where everyone else was gathered for band practice.

  They had made it through one concert since the Swap Back, with a lot of hasty workarounds to accommodate having a newly female lead singer and back-up vocals. It hadn’t been their best performance. Okay...it had kind of sucked ass. But so far, the fans hadn’t really raised too much of a stink. They’d probably all been too caught up in the gender swap of half the island to take the time to really critique one little rock band’s performance. Thank the gods.

  Ethan was seated at his drum set, the tattooed bleach-blond smiling faintly at something Matheus said. The bassist was leaning against the wall near Ethan, regaling him with some ridiculous story about a past conquest gone wrong, all tall, thin grace. At a glance, they seemed the same as always. But Grey could feel the tension in the room. Luca was sitting on a stool in the opposite corner of the room, her head bent over her guitar as she quietly played through one of their newer songs. The distance between them hurt. But it wasn’t Grey’s fault, she reminded herself again. Luca hadn’t told Ethan and Mat she was a morph, even when Grey finally revealed her own freaky gender change. The guys were clearly still butthurt about it. And Luca was trying her best to just be one of the guys still, one of the band, despite all the weird tension. Grey had not a single freaking clue what to do about any of it.

  Luca looked up when Grey entered, the sadness in her dark blue eyes lightening a bit as she mustered up a smile. “Hey, beautiful. About time you joined us.”

  Mat rolled his eyes and stood up straight, going to grab his bass off its stand. “Seriously, dude. Did you lose the ability to tell time when you grew boobs?”

  His eyes darted downward, and he gave Grey an overdone leer. “Not that I’m complaining.”

  Ethan shook his head. His sky-blue eyes met Grey’s and he gave her a genuine, warm smile. “You look nice today.”

  She was wearing a
ratty t-shirt and ill-fitting jeans, no makeup, and her hair was—as usual—a wild, ratty red mess. Grey tilted her head back and let out a groan. “Oh my god, stop.”

  Ethan blushed faintly but gave her a confused look. “What?”

  Grey strode over to the mic stand, shaking her head. “All of you need to just stop treating me like I’m someone else. For fuck’s sake, I’m the same damned person I was a few weeks ago, and you never complimented me and got all mushy then.”

  Luca looked away and Grey wanted to kick herself. Wasn’t Grey treating Luca like she was someone different? Like some stranger, rather than the man she’d been madly in love with? Fuck, this sucked.

  Grey ran a hand through her hair, tangling the shoulder-length mess of curls beyond repair. That was it. The hair had to go. Shit, she shouldn’t be wishing she was still trapped in a man’s body, but...ugh. Upkeep had been slightly easier when she had testicles.

  “I thought we’d start with some of the old stuff, just to get back in the swing of things, then we can work on the new song,” Luca said, standing and dragging her stool closer to the center of the room. Luca had always been the glue that held Lucifer together, the one who coaxed out everyone else’s unique strengths. It was painful to watch her struggle to keep up the front. “Enough moping. We’ve got work to do.”

  The first song was one they’d performed countless times before the Swap Back. It was one of the first songs Luca had written for Lucifer , years before Grey ever met them. It should have been a piece of cake.

  It was a complete train wreck.

  “What the hell was that?” Matheus snarked before the last lingering chords of music even faded from the room. “Grey, sweetheart, busty goddess of my heart...that’s not going to work in that octave.” He narrowed his eyes at Luca. “And why the hell does the best damned guitarist I’ve ever heard now sound like complete shit?” He rolled his hazel eyes skyward. “Are you playing that thing with your vagina?”

  “Mat,” Ethan said tiredly. “Knock it off.” He shrugged and gave a weak smile, always the optimist and peacemaker of the group. “It was rough, but we’ll figure it out.”

  Grey took a deep breath and released it slowly so she wouldn’t punch Mat in the dick. “Stop making girl jokes, dickhead.” He did look slightly apologetic, which for Matheus was kind of like on groveling in anyone else.

  Luca’s expression was unruffled, calm and collected like always. But it was complete bullshit. “I’m sorry,” she said evenly. “It’s my hands. I know the song, but my hands are different. Smaller. Weaker. All the muscle memory from the last four years was built up using a different set of hands.”

  The raw frustration seeping into her smooth alto was like a punch in the gut. Luca loved playing guitar, and she was damned good at it. At least...she had been. That had to suck.

  “Look, you’ll get it back,” Grey said firmly. “Just because our bodies changed, doesn’t mean the skill isn’t still there, right? If it’s just your muscle memory being off, you’ll practice, and it will get better.”

  Luca didn’t say anything as she set her guitar aside and ghosted out the door.

  Grey rounded on Ethan and Matheus. “It probably doesn’t help that you guys are being assholes to her, you know. Can you just for one fucking second imagine how you’d feel being jerked around into a different body every few years? Let me tell you, it’s no fucking picnic!”

  Ethan looked down, contrite. “I’m trying,” he said softly. “But...how could she keep that from us all those years?” He looked up and Grey’s heart hurt. “She was my best friend, you know. I thought she was. Then I find out I didn’t even really know her....”

  Mat snorted and focused on re-tuning his bass. “It was different with you, Grey. First of all, we kind of suspected on our own. And secondly, you weren’t with us for four years . We’ve been through so much shit together, trusted that asshole with all of our dirty little secrets and fucking insecurities. But apparently, we couldn’t be trusted with his.”

  “That’s not how it is,” Luca said from the doorway, making them all startle. “Guys, I wanted to tell you. But I liked being part of Lucifer. I liked being one of you. If I told you all the sudden that I was really a girl, I was afraid it would ruin that closeness. I wouldn’t just be one of the guys anymore. I was afraid you wouldn’t want me in the band. Or in your lives. And I know that’s stupid. I know that now. But by the time I really got to know you and realized you’d never just ghost on me that way...well, then it was way too late to bring it up. And...honestly, I thought The Change was permanent, so why risk it?”

  Luca’s long, graceful fingers gripped the sides of the doorframe so hard it was a wonder it didn’t break.

  Grey swallowed hard, glanced at Ethan and Matheus, then headed toward Luca. Stopping in front of the beautiful woman who had replaced her lover, she tilted her head. “Let me through. I think you guys need to talk. That’s way more important than practice.”

  Luca straightened up and let go of the doorframe, so she wasn’t blocking Grey’s path. “You don’t have to leave.” Luca’s eyes were pleading. She was afraid of having it out with the guys alone. She still wanted Grey close when she was upset, as if nothing had changed between them.

  It was like a punch in the gut every time Grey looked at this woman who was so like and yet so completely not like the Luca she had known. Sure, Ethan, Mat, and Luca needed to patch things up, so they didn’t lose the friendship they’d built over the years. But nothing was ever going to right with the band until Grey figured out her own shit with Luca. And everyone knew it.

  “I think I need to go,” Grey said with a sad smile. “Fix things with your best friends. They might be complete jackasses, but they love you.”

  Luca closed her eyes like she’d been wounded, then wrapped her long arms around her own waist, looking small. “Sure,” she said, opening her eyes again and turning away.

  It wasn’t until Grey had reached the hallway that she realized what had hurt Luca so badly there at the end. “Shit, you’re a complete dickwad,” she muttered to herself. Because the way she’d phrased that...it probably sounded like she was saying Grey didn’t love Luca. She rubbed her forehead, where a massive headache was starting. Things were supposed to get better once the curse was lifted from the island, not worse.

  She went to her room and closed the door, leaning back against it as she fished her necklace out from under her shirt, wrapping her hand around the warm, rough stone that hid a geode. It seemed to pulse in her hand, somehow soothing her confusion and fear. “What the hell are we going to do now?” Great, Grey, just great. Now you’re talking to fucking rocks for comfort. Her life couldn’t get much more absurd than this.

  She grabbed a book and tried to distract herself from thinking about whatever discussion Luca was having with the others. It was none of Grey’s business. What the three of them had before Grey came on the scene was clearly a strong bond. They didn’t need Grey fucking it up any more than she already had. Gods, to think she’d considered their suggestion of some sort of weird poly relationship between them all back when she was a dude. Thank fuck she didn’t have that awkwardness to deal with at the moment.

  She firmly told her demented brain to shut up. Nearly half an hour later, she heard voices in the hall, Ethan saying he was going out, since practice was shot for now. Grey sighed. Grey, Luca, and Matheus had all moved into the townhouse permanently. Mat had rented out his old house, which was a huge step for him. He’d grown up there with his mom before The Change and continued to live there alone in the years following her suicide. Grey thought maybe this was him letting go of the past, committing to the band, even if it was currently in a state of upheaval. But Ethan...he was still taking care of his mom. He visited her frequently, and sometimes he was gone for days at a time. Grey didn’t feel like she had the right to ask him about it, but she suspected his mom’s reverting back to female hadn’t cured her of her alcoholism and mental illness. And Ethan was still play
ing dutiful son and caretaker.

  Grey sighed. She was trying to find her feet again, but seriously...everything was a fucking mess. Her fingers trailed over the stone that hung against her chest, the kleidí her mother had used to curse the island. It pulsed in her hand, warm and alive, and full of power.

  Chapter 3

  Grey pulled up at the airport’s drop-off area in Rick’s beat-up old Volvo wagon. The airstrip had reopened just a couple weeks before, but it was already crowded with people desperate to get off the island now that the quarantine had finally been lifted.

  She glanced at her father, who was fidgeting with his ticket. The air between them was still a bit strained—things would likely never go back to how they had been before The Change—but they were improving. Mostly because Grey was done giving a fuck what Rick thought of her life choices. They were her own to make.

  “Are you sure you packed everything you need?” Grey grimaced when she realized she sounded like a fussy mother hen.

  Her dad gave her an exasperated look. “I’ll only be gone a few days. And after being grounded here for so long, I think I’ll survive without my spare phone charger or an extra set of socks...somehow.”

  “Good luck,” Grey said as her father exited the car.

  Rick had a business opportunity on the mainland. It was a good chance to get back to his work, do some valuable networking, and as he himself had put it, to get some distance. Grey hadn’t asked distance from what. She suspected she already knew the answer. Distance from her. Not the cursed-then-cured island, not his estranged siren wife, but his daughter, who showed every indication of being cut from the same cloth as the wicked man-eater he had married.

  Grey snorted as she pulled away. Maybe the distance would be good for both of them. They’d been stuck together for far too long. The Change had stagnated the growth of an entire generation—people like Grey who had been on the verge of transitioning to adulthood when the world suddenly turned upside down. Now that things were back to normal, it was time to move on and let go of that last bit of lingering desire to cling to her parent.

  A dull pain throbbed in Grey’s forehead, the lingering trace of the headache she’d woken up with this morning. She pointed the car toward the clinic where she’d participated the last few years in an ongoing medical study that hoped to understand the cause of The Change and the Swap Back. Grey had withdrawn from the study last week. After all, it was pointless—she knew the real reason behind The Change, and she knew no medical professional was going to discover or admit to believing in magic and curses. But her friend Joy and long-time clinic volunteer had moved to the island to help treat morphs, since no one was sure what kind of medical issues might pop up after someone was yanked out of their body and shoved into another a couple times over—so she had a handy personal physician for just these kinds of issues.