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Perfect Pride
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Perfect Pride
Gesa’s Menagerie Book 9
Kaye Draper
Copyright 2019
Dedication
I value every one of my readers and friends who support me in this crazy, wonderful adventure that is writing. Thank you to my patron Jennifer Sapa for helping me create, and to Frank Boston for the proofreading and constant encouragement. I couldn’t make this dream into a reality without you!
Chapter 1
Kai waded into the warm water of the Indian ocean, glorying in the feel of the soft sand beneath her feet and the kiss of the waves lapping at her skin like the touch of a long-lost lover. Closing her eyes, she called to the primal part of her, that indescribable thing slumbering inside, just waiting for a nudge from her magic to bring it alive.
She half-shifted, tentacles propelling her under the waves in a burst of speed. Spreading her webbed fingers wide, she gloried in the feel of the water rushing along her skin like a caress. She reached deeper inside herself, letting her magic envelope her, changing her completely. Suddenly the depths of the ocean didn't seem so endless, and the worries of man seemed so small.
She was home. But still, a part of her felt pulled toward something far away. There was a restless tugging at her heart that told her coming home wasn't what it once was. Her home wasn't here, not really. Home was thousands of miles away, in a place where the waters were pleasantly chilled, and the horizons were closer. Where her family waited for her to return. Gesa was home. The pride was home. Her friends, her lovers, the souls that called her back—that was home.
Still, she owed it to herself to at least look into the sirens' claims that they'd spotted another kraken. Kai had found her home, but someone else might be out there, feeling as lonely and lost as she once had. She owed it to them to help.
What she would do then, the Gods only knew. Maybe the other kraken would want to come back with her, to dwell in the colder waters with one of their own. Or maybe they wouldn't want anything to do with Kai and her new life. Maybe this other kraken would want to stay in the sea, with the creatures it knew.
She surged forward, her octopus-like bursts of propulsion eating up the distance to the siren's island much faster than any boat could. What if this kraken was a relative? A long-lost cousin or sibling? What if Kai suddenly had more family than she'd ever dreamed of?
A school of lightning-fast silvery fish joined her, darting alongside to see what this new thing was swimming in their sea. Soon she had a pod of dolphins following her and a couple of sea sprites trying their best to keep up. She slowed, tamping down her urgency. She had all the time in the world. Her lovers would wait for her. They would understand her need to connect with the sea. She swirled her tentacles, delighted when the dolphins swam through them, darting and playing like children. The sprites caught up and their watery laughter echoed in the waves.
Kraken, they called to her. Play with us. Swim with us.
She didn't reach the Sirens' island as quickly as she had hoped, but when she did, Kai was surrounded by sea life, by fins, and scales, and tentacles. By the laughing, flowing, ever-changing energy of the water.
She parted ways with the new friends she had gathered and let the shift take her, putting the beast back to sleep as her human feet met the sand. Her new sea friends drew away. Some were neutral about the sirens. But others were fearful. The "cold women" weren't as playful as the kraken. And their actions could carry the mercurial temper and emotions that came with spending too long in human form, but without human hearts.
Kai breathed deep, air inflating her lungs rather than water. The setting sun heated her skin as her body completed the shift from sea creature to warm, pulsing land mammal. Her eyes landed on the stone-paved road leading to the beach where she had emerged. It was the same place where the sirens had made their sacrifice to Poseidon on the pride's last visit. Where the sirens had sent their mixed-breed children to die.
Kai smirked when she thought about what they would say if they knew those kids were thriving among humans because of Gesa’s big lion heart.
A woman with dark skin and red hair made her way across the sand, her gauzy white dress billowing in the warm breeze. "Welcome, kraken," she said in a voice laced with power. "Our Queen has been waiting for you."
She turned and walked away, fully expecting Kai to follow. The woman was nearly back on the paved path when she realized the kraken wasn't obeying her commands. Kai had stooped to scoop up a starfish and held it in her palm, smiling at the tickle of its little feet exploring her skin.
"The queen waits," the woman said in an imperious tone.
Kai didn't look at her as she caressed the top of the starfish with a gentle finger. "Good for her."
As old as she was, Kai was no stranger to the stupid power-struggles and games that the human-shaped ones played. The sirens were tricky. Piss them off too much and they'd use their power to hurt and humiliate. But if you gave in to their silly demands too easily, you'd be seen as weak. Prey.
The woman huffed at her, fuming. Kai stooped and gently returned the starfish to the damp sand at the edge of the waves. "Happy travels, little one," she said calmly.
She rinsed the sand off her hands and stood, pausing to comb the tangles out of her long, damp hair with her fingers before she finally turned to the impatient siren. "Shall we?"
That got her a turquoise eye roll and a bit of a flounce when the woman turned and glided back up the path.
Kai smiled to herself. This was going to be fun. Even if the other kraken wasn't interested in meeting Kai, it would be worth it just to piss the sirens off for a few days. Her grin widened. Too bad Gesa wasn't here to help. The gryphon would take great delight in putting the uppity goddesses in their place.
Chapter 2
I stared at the computer screen and told the gremlin in my guts to go the fuck back to sleep. I was so sick of being nauseas.
I looked over Con's notes and flipped through the old, dusty reference book he'd found. Vampire bats. Maybe. This was so not fucking good. I was still holding out hope that the recent spate of drained animal corpses was just some farmer looking for publicity. Bigfoot sightings were so last year. Why not move on to creepy vampires? Maybe a chupacabra.
I snorted. Oisin and I got rid of the only chupacabra in the area a while back. And vampires were a lot more rare than the paranormal romance fans liked to believe.
And a fuckton creepier.
I had a bad feeling about this. Me and animal cases had a bad history.
Soft footsteps sounded on the stairs, accompanied by the scent of warm ginger cookies. Con. Thank the Gods.
I leaned back in my chair and smiled when my human-slash-hedge-witch made his way toward me with a plate full of gold. He set the cookies on the desk, along with a steaming mug of something creamy and spicy. "The puking sounded worse today," he said, completely ruining my euphoria. "The cookies will help, but…don't you think you should see a doctor? There are supe doctors out there somewhere, aren't there?"
I grabbed a cookie and nibbled at it, my roiling gut instantly settling. "There are," I muttered. Supe doctors were few and far between, since usually there wasn't much that ailed the supe population. But they did exist. I think there was a witch doctor a couple of hours north of Ontonagon. But I didn't need a doctor.
I needed to be honest with my pride.
I didn't know what was holding me back. Hisashi knew I was pregnant, thanks to his inconvenient fucking precognitive powers. I was afraid he would be upset, but instead, he was really excited. So why was I scared of telling the others?
I picked up my mug and took a sip of whatever it was. It was laced with the faint, but effective, hint of Con's latent magic. Creamy, cinnamon-spice, and innately comforting. I closed m
y eyes to avoid his concerned honey-brown gaze. I knew the real reasons I was afraid. I just didn't want to face them.
In my clan, gryphon women were pressured to have cubs as soon and as often as possible. Our race was declining. It was hard to conceive, and it was even harder to carry a cub to full term. I had seen the pain that lingered in my parents' eyes when they talked about having kids. They lost so many babies before they had my sister and me.
So, I felt this pressure to have kids. But I never wanted to cave to it. For political reasons, yes—women weren't fucking livestock—but also for more personal reasons. I was terrified of losing something so precious.
Hisashi assured me that the babies would be okay, that he had seen them with his powers. But I was still afraid. The future was changeable. What if today the kids were on course to be fine, but tomorrow something changed, and the future did too?
Plus, as much as I might bitch about my fucking clan…it was going to hurt, having every gryphon I knew look down on my kids. If it was just me, I wouldn't care. They could ostracize me all they wanted. Fuck 'em. But my children? Oh, hell no.
I could feel my inner gryphon ruffling its neck feathers and preparing to defend the nest at just the thought of the slurs that would be tossed their way. Crossbreeds. Dirty blood. When gryphons were trying desperately to save their species and their precious bloodlines, I had wasted my genetic potential.
I stuffed another cookie in my mouth and turned to look at the computer again. Con was still watching me, waiting in that patient way only Con could.
"I really hope this isn't a fucking vampire," I said, once my mouth wasn't full.
Con sighed. "Gesa."
I looked up at him, where he had come to hitch a hip on my desk. His brown curls were ruffled carelessly, and he was wearing jeans and a t-shirt. No classes for the professor to teach today. Just baking things and poking at me.
I heaved a massive sigh. "What?"
He narrowed his eyes at me. Then he smiled softly and hit me where it counted. "I love you."
I clenched my teeth. I was so not going to fall for this trap.
"No matter what's going on, I'll always be here for you," he continued.
Fucking mother fuck. I pressed my palms into the arm rests of my chair. No fair.
He leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to my forehead. "But I understand if you don't want to tell me what's wrong. If it's…a supe thing or something." He pulled back and I could feel that wall of insecurity rising up around him. He just accepted that he might be too human to share my troubles with. Not good enough. Not supe enough.
Godsdamn my manipulative pride.
"I'm not sick," I muttered. "I'm perfectly fine. Stop it."
He frowned at me. "Stop what?"
I shoved the cookies aside and put my hands on his knees. "Stop thinking I would ever keep something from you because you're human…ish. Moron."
He chuckled and some of the tension left him. He believed me. It was just that he'd experienced a lifetime of feeling inferior and only a little time here with people who loved him for what he was, even back when we thought he was fully human. Jesus, Buddha, and Odin, emotions sucked.
"I'm pregnant, Con," I said softly, not able to look into his eyes.
He went completely still, completely silent. I don't even think he was breathing. Then he drew in a sudden breath and let out a soft laugh. "Well…that was really obvious, wasn't it? God, I'm slow sometimes."
I met his eyes then. "What?"
He shook his head at his own lack of understanding. "If you were human, that would be the first thing I would have asked you, you know? It's kind of insulting how we just jump to that right off the bat with human women. Puking? You must be pregnant. But…I thought it was kind of different for you. And…we always use condoms…."
I squeezed his knees, glad he was talking to me and not panicking. Thank the Gods for Con and his sweet disposition. I really needed it right now.
I sucked in a breath. "I was with Hisashi…when Oisin was taken. We were both pretty messed up. Pissed off. Hurting." I shrugged, embarrassed for no Godsdamned reason. "We didn't, uh…use protection. Never even thought about it."
He nodded, all understanding and comfort, when a lot of men might react with ego and testosterone. "I can see that," he said gently. "But don't you…uh. I don't know how any of this works, but supes are able to control that somehow, right?" He was blushing now. So fucking adorable.
I sat back and resigned myself to teaching sex-ed 101, supe edition. "It's not like we have full control over it," I said, thinking, not for the first time, that humans got a raw deal when it came to reproduction. "It's more like…intention? It's not impossible to get pregnant on accident, but it's a lot more likely to happen if the supe involved wants a baby. I think it's an energy thing?" I waved my hand at the airy-fairy concept.
"I always said I would never have kids," I said, surprised when my voice wobbled, and my eyes prickled with tears. "But Oisin was gone, maybe forever. And I thought Hisashi was going to leave us. I thought he didn't want to stay."
Con stroked my hair, carding his fingers through the messy waves. "And you unconsciously wanted to keep Hisashi with you. Even just a part of him."
I blinked up at the amazing man sitting on my desk. "How do you just always get what people are feeling, even when they don't have a damned clue themselves?"
He gave me a wry smile. "You aren't as tough or as hard to read as you think, gryphon. And besides, I felt the same way." He grimaced. "I mean…not about Hisashi, per se. But I think we all felt vulnerable with the annoying fae missing. Like we all needed to draw together and hold on tight. Which is just what you did."
I shrugged. "I didn't mean to."
Con put his fingertips beneath my chin and tilted my head up, forcing me to look at him. His brown eyes were wounded. "Are you saying…you don't want the baby?"
I gaped at him. "Fuck no!" Realizing how that sounded, I panicked and stood, fidgeting. "I mean, fuck no, that's not what I meant. Fuck yes, I want the babies."
He reached for me and I stepped into his hug. "I'm so glad," he said against my hair. I wrapped my arms around him and squeezed. "I want them," I said firmly. "We want them. Hisashi is so damned happy."
And…Con had been abandoned by his parents when he was born. So, of course he was worried I wouldn't want them. "They are going to be so spoiled. So loved," he mumbled into my hair.
I pulled back and looked at him. "So, you're not mad? That you aren't their father? I mean…you know, like, technically?"
He snorted. "I might have hated being an orphan. But I learned one really important lesson growing up, from the priest who looked after me when the foster system failed me: being a father has nothing to do with DNA."
I sagged against him, relieved. Of course, I knew Con would be accepting of the whole thing. That was just who he was. But I had still managed to worry myself stupid.
"The others don't know, do they?" Con said as he leaned back on the desk.
I shook my head. "I'm having a hard time wrapping my head around it myself. And…I don't know, I just feel like the timing is all wrong. Kai was leaving to find her family. Halstad literally just joined us. And Oisin…well, he's recovering a little bit more every day. But he's still struggling sometimes."
Con sighed. "Well, I won't go around shouting it from the rooftops. But they aren't stupid, Gesa. They are going to figure it out. Soon. And it's better if you tell them than if they feel like you were hiding it." He smiled fondly. "They'll just jump to stupid conclusions like I did about why you didn't tell them."
I slumped back into my chair. "I know."
Con eyed me for a minute, his expression thoughtful. "Gesa?"
I looked up from the notes about the habits of vampire bats. "Yeah?"
"You said 'them' and 'babies.' Plural."
I swallowed hard. "Uh…the semi-psychic nine-tail fox says there's more than one."
His grin was as blinding as the sun.
"Really?"
I handed him his neatly written notes, ignoring the flushed feeling that rose to my cheeks at his happiness. Ugh. Too much glitter and kittens. "Where did you find all the references? I want to know what we think might actually be true and what is a myth. Because I'm pretty fucking sure we have a vampire in town."
One corner of Con's lip twitched at my obvious diversion tactics. "Sure. I'll show you the books…Mom."
I opened a drawer and got out some post-it notes, firmly ignoring the butterflies and rainbows about to explode out of me at any moment. Fucking emotions.
But I couldn't help the dopey smile that crept over my face. So what if there was a monster in our town. I was going to be a mother and I was actually happy about it. Nothing else even compared.
Chapter 3
I stacked a few cheap paperbacks onto a rickety display shelf near the cash register. We were practically giving the stupid things away for free, but I wanted them out of my hair. Sometimes I wondered if taking in books on trade was really a good practice. I was pretty sure we were going to end up drowning in stupid romance novels and formulaic mystery thrillers.
I was about to put a ban on all author names P through R.
Halstad came wandering in from an alcove where we were still sorting some old boxes of books. Seeing the creepy-assed books they kept over at the mage guild, I was reminded of the nasty gremlin skin book we had found in the bookstore. I'd given it to Halstad a while back, but I think he forgot about it in all the madness that followed. Seeing how lost he seemed, now that he wasn't at someone else's beck and call, I asked him about the book, hoping it would give him something to focus on.
The tactic was too effective. He'd been pouring over the nasty thing for the last hour or so. He still held the dusty tomb in his gloved hands as he wandered my way, muttering to himself in some language I'd never heard before.
"Having fun?" I asked dryly.