A Matter of Pride Read online

  A Matter of Pride

  Gesa’s Menagerie Book 7

  Kaye Draper

  Copyright 2019

  Chapter 1

  The first day that Oisin was awake for more than a few seconds was probably one of the hardest days of my life. In a way, it was even more fucking terrible than all the time I spent missing him, wondering if he was okay, or hoping for him to just wake the hell up.

  We had rescued Oisin from his deranged dad right before the asshole drained Oisin completely. But my fae was still damaged. He’d been tortured, robbed of most of his magic. And…last time he woke up, he didn’t remember his new family.

  It was the third day after we brought him home. The entire pride continued to take turns sitting with him through the day, and we all piled around him to sleep at night, hoping the energy and auras of his lovers would reach him, wherever he went while he was healing.

  I hadn't told the others about his memory issues. I was hoping like fuck that was temporary. Maybe it was just because he was still kinda out of it when he spoke to me the first time. Maybe the next time he woke up, he'd be back to his usual sassy, innuendo-making self.

  A girl can dream.

  I woke to someone shaking me. Con's big hand on my shoulder was gentle, but insistent. "Gesa," he whispered. "Oisin's awake."

  I bolted upright to find a pair of emerald green eyes watching me with that same sort of detached curiosity as last time. His hair had grown, even in just a couple of days, and I reached out to ruffle the bare inch of red silk. "Morning, sunshine," I said, stuffing my nervousness way down inside and stomping on it. My fae was alright. He had to be.

  He tilted his head and licked his perfect lips before gesturing at the bottled water on the bedside table. I'd put it there just for this—in the hopes that he'd wake up soon and demand sustenance. Con sat back against the headboard, careful not to wake Kai on his other side, as he snagged the bottle and handed it to the fae. The kraken snorted in her sleep and rolled over, pulling the covers over her head.

  I smiled at her. Then Con and I watched Oisin drink his water. It was a tense moment. I think even Con could sense something wasn't right.

  "How are you feeling?" I asked, like every stupid medical person I'd ever met—even the supernatural ones.

  Oisin lowered the bottle and looked down at his graceful hands. There was still a faint pink scar on each one from where he'd been nailed to the fucking table. He took a moment, as if considering his answer, maybe taking a mental inventory or something. "I feel…."

  He shrugged his slender shoulders, and part of me was glad his gray silk pajamas hid how skeletal he'd become during his captivity. I had changed his clothes a couple of times, knowing how angry he'd be if he woke up in anything other than fresh silk. So, I knew he was looking a little better than when we first found him, his flesh a little less bruised-looking and hollow, but his weakened state still sent panic rushing in to crush my chest.

  "Gryphon?" he said, turning to me and tilting his head, studying my features. "I don't know what I feel. But I am pleased you're here."

  I swallowed hard. "Gesa," I said softly, flicking my gaze over to meet Con's questioning expression. "In case you forgot again." I waved a hand at the human on his other side. "Con. Uh…Concord if you're feeling particularly cruel."

  Con's big brown eyes filled with concern. "You don't remember us, Oisin?"

  The fae bit his bottom lip with his sharp teeth while he let another one of those long pauses go by, thinking. "I seem to have lost some…details."

  I reached out a hand to Oisin and he took it automatically. Whatever he did remember, he seemed to know we wouldn't hurt him. "You said…before…well, do you remember when you woke up and talked to me?" Gods please let him still have at least that.

  He squeezed my hand back, his slender fingers curling around my own. "It's hazy, I'm afraid. But…yes."

  Con frowned. "He woke up before? Why didn't you tell us, Gesa? And what do you mean about what he said?" I could see him warring with himself, wanting to stay here with us and wanting to bolt out of bed and start cooking up food and spells for Oisin.

  I heaved a sigh and glanced over at my other side, where Hisashi slept with one arm thrown over his face and one long, white leg hanging out of the bed. He looked like an idiot. My heart hurt just watching him lying there innocently sleeping, not knowing he was going to wake up to a whole new world of pain.

  "Oh," Con said softly. I nodded, feeling Oisin's curious green gaze on me as I explained to the human. "He didn't remember us, not all the way. I couldn't…I just couldn't do that to Hisashi when he's struggling so damned hard as it is. And…I hoped it would get better. He said he loved us. He remembered that he loved us. But…he didn't know names. Details."

  Oisin's thumb stroked the back of my hand. "I'm sorry."

  I stared at him. "You're sorry?" Oisin had been kidnapped, tortured, drained of his power, rescued and dragged the fuck back here and he was sorry? If I needed any more proof that he wasn't the same man I knew, this was it. No swearing. No demands for booze and food. No innuendos or snark. Just I'm sorry. "What the fuck do you have to be sorry about, Oisin? Jesus, Buddha, and Odin," I muttered. "He's fucking sorry."

  Con cleared his throat awkwardly. "Are you hungry?" he asked kindly. "Thirsty? I can make you some breakfast. Anything you want." He smiled shyly at Oisin as if meeting him for the first time. As if they hadn't spit-roasted me more times than I could count. I coughed to smother a completely inappropriate laugh.

  Con ignored me. "I…uh, like to cook. And I've been practicing my hedge witch…stuff." He ran a hand through his messy brown curls.

  Oisin considered the human for a while. "You're a hedge witch, but you feel like a new witch…a child."

  Con sighed. "I know."

  Oisin patted Con's thigh in sympathy. "We all have our weaknesses."

  I watched this bizarre display of niceness with wide eyes. No jokes. No teasing. "This is so damned weird."

  Con coughed to hide a laugh. Oisin raised a red brow at me. "I apologize for being…weird."

  I shook my head. "That. That right there. The old Oisin would be swearing and demanding sex or mead right now. Are you sure you're okay?"

  He smiled faintly at me. "I'm sure I will be. Eventually."

  The fae's stomach growled, and Con nudged Kai away from him. "I'm on it," he said as he tried to get out of bed.

  Kai rolled toward Con and wrapped her arms and legs octopus-like around the human. "Go back to sleep," she muttered without opening her eyes.

  Con let out a put-upon sigh and started trying to disentangle himself from long limbs and curves. Finally, he gave up and leaned in to whisper in her ear. "Oisin's awake. He needs a hug."

  She muttered for a moment, cussed like a drunken sailor, then pushed herself up to a semi-upright position, shoving her long black hair out of her dark blue eyes. Her eyes widened when she saw Oisin looking back at her.

  "Oh, thank the Gods!" she gasped, launching herself over Con and engulfing the smaller fae in a smothering hug, knocking him back against the headboard.

  Oisin took it all in stride, wrapping his arms slowly around her and patting her back. "You're the kraken," he said, more sure of himself this time.

  "Kaimana," I said helpfully.

  "Kaimana," he repeated, as Kai drew back to leave him eye-level with the most amazing tits on the planet. "Um, yes, I see."

  Kai sent a frown between me and Oisin. "You sound like you…don't remember me, fae." She crossed her arms and pouted. Gods Kai did pouty lingerie model like a pro.

  Oisin did that lip biting thing again that made me want to kiss the fuck out of him…but he still felt like a sort-of stranger, so I refrained. "I remember things," the fae
said, his voice cool and defensive.

  Oh, there he was. A little glimmer of the old Oisin, hiding his insecurities under cold distance. Perfect.

  "He remembers he belongs with us," I said firmly. "That's good enough for now."

  "You…don't remember us?" I nearly cringed when Hisashi's deep voice rolled over my shoulder. Fuck. Thanks a lot for waking him up, Kai.

  Con and Kai shared a look, and both practically bolted from the bed, grabbing clothes in a flurry and muttering something about breakfast and herbal teas.

  Silence stretched out in their wake as Hisashi got up and moved to the other side of the bed, closer to Oisin. "Oisin?"

  The fae tilted his head and curiously examined the nine-tail. His eyes traveled over Hisashi's handsome face and asymmetrical white hair, to his lean, muscular chest and his big hands as the fox reached out to touch Oisin's cheek.

  "It was something Japanese," the fae said, as if totally unaware how he just broke the fox's heart. "Hisashi!" he said triumphantly. He turned to me and nodded. "I remember, you said the white-haired man was called Hisashi."

  He seemed so pleased with himself for remembering what I'd told him the last time he woke up. He missed the way Hisashi closed his eyes and took a deep breath like he'd been punched in the gut.

  "Tell him what you do remember, Oisin," I said softly. "Please."

  Oisin turned to the fox and seemed to register his pained expression as Hisashi opened his ice blue eyes. "I…we care deeply for each other, yes?"

  Hisashi took a slow, calm breath and I was proud of him for not letting his spirit powers explode out of him. "Yes."

  Oisin nodded. "All of us. We're Gesa's pride. But…I feel like you and the gryphon were special."

  Hisashi was silent.

  "We're special, all right," I muttered, standing and going to find clothes. "Let's get you up and fed."

  Oisin nodded. "Yes."

  I dug around in Oisin's things, trying to remember which weird items he might put together to make an outfit. I was so out of my fucking element among the tailored, designer bits of cashmere and silk.

  Meanwhile, Hisashi helped the fae out of bed, giving him a moment to find his feet and get used to being upright again. I turned back to them with a pile of clothes.

  Normally, we'd all strip in front of each other like it was no big thing. Gods knew I'd definitely had enough up close and personal experience with my pride that we weren't shy. And most of us were shifters anyway. Nudity was kind of a non-issue with shifters.

  But now, something made me set the clothes on the bed and back away. "We'll just be in the kitchen when you're ready," I said in an awkward stammer.

  It was so fucking weird. It was just Oisin. We'd thoroughly explored every inch of each other more times than I could count. But this fae before me was a stranger, vulnerable, damaged.

  Hisashi bent to kiss the top of Oisin's head before he followed along behind me, leaving Oisin to contemplate the undoubtedly horrible outfit I'd brought him.

  Once we were in the hallway, I reached out and grabbed Hisashi's hand, not speaking, but squeezing hard. The fox squeezed back, kissed my forehead, then let go of my hand as he headed toward his own bedroom.

  Gods. Give me a good physical fight any day over this emotional shit. I could stand being punched, or stabbed, or shot. But I didn't know if I could live with this fucking bleeding heart.

  Chapter 2

  The next few days were strange. Things started to go back to normal—as much as they could. We got contractors in to fix the downstairs area where the fae and their mages had destroyed much of the bookstore in their attack. My gryphon side didn't like having strangers in my territory, especially not now, with things feeling tenuous and strained, but it was worth it to have the place put back together. They fixed all the structural damage, but we opted to do cleanup ourselves.

  I think it gave us all something to focus on.

  Oisin drifted by me as I sorted books into bins—keep or toss depending on how damaged they were. The fae glanced at me and gave me a soft smile in greeting, then continued on. He was "tasting the wards," I had been informed. He said his magic was still far too weak to do anything like reset the wards that protected this place. But I think he was wanting to test his power, stretch his magic a little and see what was left.

  I left him to it. Fuck if I knew anything about magic, and he assured me he wouldn't blow himself up. He might have some memory loss, but he had been around at least five hundred years longer than me. I had to trust he was an adult…at least in this.

  I watched the fae out of the corner of my eye. He was dressed to perfection in his usual way, skinny jeans, a perfectly pressed shirt and a silk vest embroidered with gold flowers. He even had on his red wingtips. The ridiculous shoes were my favorite, not that I'd ever tell him that. I loved when Oisin expressed his beautiful, vibrant self as loudly as possible.

  Hisashi and Kai came in through the front door and it was comforting to hear the little jingle of the new bells we'd hung just today. Gods, I was fucking nesting. What was with me and this warm, homey vibe?

  The snow had partially melted the day before under an unseasonable heatwave, then today all the slush froze and more snow started falling, in typical Michigan style. Kai almost fell on her ass coming in the door, but Hisashi caught her and they both clung to the door frame for dear life. The kraken pinched Hisashi's ass when he turned to pick up the bag of salt he'd dropped and Hisashi jerked, almost falling on his face on the icy stoop.

  Shaking my head at their antics, I turned to find Oisin standing right beside me. I started and let out a yelp. "Fuck. I still need to get you that collar and bell. Don't sneak up on me!"

  The fae smirked and the expression made my heart flutter. That was the smirk that had landed me in bed with the degenerate the first time. And nearly every time since.

  "Are all gryphons so jumpy?" he asked calmly.

  I huffed. "Are all fae so fucking sneaky?"

  His smirk faded. "Yes."

  Gods damn it. I hadn't meant to make him think of his stupid-ass clan.

  Kai came to my rescue, with that krakens-don't-give-a-fuck attitude that either made me want to kiss her or kill her, depending on the day. "Gesa! Tell your fox to get his cocks back inside before he breaks one off. I haven't even had the chance to play with them yet."

  The fox in question was skating around the sidewalk, scattering salt so people might actually be able to make it to the door without busting their asses. He came back inside, his high cheekbones stained red against his albino-white skin. "Gods. Do you want my social security number? So you can shout that to the neighbors too, Kai?"

  She just ginned. I knew she was never going to let it go. Not until she got to see the magnificence of Hisashi's diphallia herself.

  "Kai," I said calmly, "you're an asshole."

  Her grin widened as she hung up her coat and oozed toward me and Oisin, all undulating curves and wickedness. Shit. Here came trouble.

  She stopped in front of me and leaned in, wrapping her arms around my neck and pulling me down for a kiss. Then she turned to Oisin. "Gesa and the fox are no fun," she said, throwing an arm around the fae's shoulders and stage whispering in his ear. "Not like you, my lovely little fae. Spill it. What's the fox hiding? Gesa said cocks. Plural."

  Oisin arched his perfect red brows at me. "I have no idea what she's talking about."

  I rubbed a hand over my face. Hisashi wiped his boots on the rug and stomped by, still blushing. But probably also more than a little hurt that Oisin didn't remember our little threesome. Foursome? Did the fox count as one person, or two in that situation?

  I cleared my throat, realizing I had gone off on a mental tangent while Oisin and Kai stared at me. "Oh, for fuck's sake," I muttered. "Oisin, you're gonna be so pissed you forgot."

  The fae frowned, then tugged on the bottom of his vest and straightened to his full, diminutive, height. The haughty mask appeared and I mentally cursed. Gods, Gesa, just kee
p kicking him while he's down.

  "I remember new things every day," he informed me, perfect nose in the air. "Maybe I've only forgotten what's not worth recalling."

  I pinched the bridge of my nose. I wanted Oisin back. But fuck he was an asshole. "That…I didn't mean…oh screw it. You know what? Fine. If you say so."

  I shoved past him. "Thanks a lot Kai."

  She chuckled and pulled Oisin into a crushing hug, nearly suffocating him with her overflowing cleavage. "Oh, lighten up," she said as the fae remained rigid in her grasp. "We can always make new memories. Want to make one right now?"

  Oisin didn't seem to know what to do with his hands. Finally, he heaved a sigh and slumped, letting Kai smother him. "Maybe another time," he muttered.

  She tilted his head back with a finger under his chin and kissed the tip of his nose. "We had fun together," she informed him. "We absolutely devastated the gryphon."

  He smiled a little at that, tossing a glance my way. "Did we?"

  I rolled my eyes and turned my back on the morons. Devastated. Ha. Hardly. Okay, maybe a little. Gods my pride was amazing.

  I left the two degenerates behind talking about wards and fire damage and whether either of them had ever fucked me on the long wooden counter out front, and made my way up the spiral staircase to the apartment.

  Con was at the local college, where he worked part time as an adjunct professor teaching mythological studies and other classes about dusty old books and legends. I found Hisashi in his bedroom. He was setting up his meditation area and I watched him as he moved about.

  Our fox was young. Only twenty—or, maybe twenty-one now? I'd lost track of time when everything went to shit.

  When Hisashi first came to us, I had resisted. He'd been caught between scary powerful adult and awkward teenager. As I watched him now, I realized he had changed. I could feel his power, his aura more obvious than it ever had been, but he didn't stoop under it. He seemed…more confident, his broad shoulders more able to carry the burdens that kept being tossed his way. And he had an innate way of being whatever was needed at the time.