With Pride Read online

  I gently pushed the curvy trouble maker off my lap and stood. "You are all assholes," I told the room at large. That didn't stop any of them from grinning. "Don't you have lives?" I asked, throwing up my arms.

  Con glanced at the clock hanging on the far wall and swore. "You're right. Afternoon classes." He shoved the leftovers into the fridge and hurriedly came to drop a soft kiss on my lips. Pulling me into a brief hug, he leaned up to whisper in my ear. "Remember what I told you before. You do you, Gesa."

  I shoved him. "Oh, go away."

  He left as Oisin headed toward me, his movements the exact opposite of Con's rush. The fae was purposeful and graceful in everything he did. Even if he should have left for work himself like fifteen minutes ago. The bar at the pretentious club where he worked wasn't going to organize and run itself. He reached up and pulled me down to him as he stood on his tiptoes. "I want a goodbye kiss too," he demanded like pouty royalty.

  I rolled my eyes, but it wasn't like it was a hardship. He delivered a biting kiss that made me want to pin him somewhere and make him yield. Jesus, Buddha and Odin my gryphon was on a fucking roll today.

  "How about we go show Kaimana the town?" Hisashi said, as he rummaged around for a glass and a bottle of sake. When the hell did we even get sake? He poured a slug and drank it, and I absolutely did not watch the long lines of him as he tipped his head back and revealed the strong column of his throat. Stand down, gryphon.

  I frowned. "I want to, but I need to go meet with my liaison at the police station. And he's probably going to have a case for me." I turned to Kaimana. "I'm sorry. But I need to make a living. Maybe we can go do something tomorrow?"

  She nodded, but Hisashi spoke up. "I can still take you around the town, if you want?"

  Kaimana smiled and clapped her hands together, then patted at her clothes and hair, indicating she was going to go get ready. I watched her rush out of the room with a smirk. She was like a tornado, able to change course in a moment's notice, sweeping up everyone around her and carrying them along.

  Hisashi caught my eye and chuckled. "Whatever you're thinking with that look on your face, I agree."

  I laughed. "Honestly, I don't know what the hell to think lately."

  He reached out to give my shoulder a squeeze, his expression turning serious. "Can we talk?" he said softly. "I'm worried about your fae."

  I let out a breath, all the tension from earlier returning. "You can't tell me what you saw in that twisted head of his," I said firmly. "He'd murder us both. But...it was bad, wasn't it?"

  He closed his eyes for a moment and then opened them again, as if centering himself. "He's done some terrible things for some really awful reasons. He won't tell you because he's got it into that silly little head of his you won't want him around anymore."

  I stared at him, anger making it hard to speak. "Bullshit."

  Hisashi gave a wry laugh. "I told him as much. But I'm sure you know how he is."

  I rolled my eyes. "Proud. Vain. Convinced he knows every damned thing. A pain in my fucking ass."

  "Yes. That," the fox said, dropping his hand. He tilted his head and his eyes went distant in a way that reminded me of Oisin when he was having some sort of magical moment of introspection. It was odd how they shared traits like that. Magic users were so fucking weird.

  "He's so much more vulnerable than he lets on, isn't he?" he whispered. His eyes refocused and he shook himself. "I think I need more sake. What I meant to say is, I don't know how long he was alone before he met you. For fae, clan bonds are important. Precious. It's obvious he's come to think of you and your pride as his clan. I think he's...terrified." He nodded as if he was only just coming to realize this and its implications. "He's afraid everything will be ripped away from him again. And trust me, Gesa, that man has lost more than we can even begin to fathom."

  I lifted a hand to rub my aching head. "I know. I've tried to tell him, to show him I'm not going anywhere, but he's so stubborn. And I don't have a fucking pride, by the way."

  The fox chuckled and held up his hands in surrender. "Sure, sure. Of course not." Then his pretty, ice blue eyes twinkled with absolute wickedness. "Where's my goodbye kiss? Everyone else got one."

  I glared at him. "Not only do I not have a pride. I don't make moves on men who are at least ten years younger than me. I do have some morals."

  He rolled his eyes. "Do you know how stodgy you sound right now, Grannie."

  I went to punch his shoulder and he caught my hand. "I've already told Oisin this, but I suppose you'll need to learn too." He stepped closer, pulling my arm around his neck before placing his big hands on my hips. "I'm not into that whole violence as foreplay thing." He was nearly the same height as me, and for once I didn't have to look down to meet the cold blue fire in his eyes. "But don't get me wrong, gryphon, I'm not as docile as your sweet little human." He tugged at my hips, pulling me flush against him. "And I'm not a child."

  He tilted his head, his lips a hair's breadth from mine, eyes locked on me as he waited. I shuddered. Fucking hell. I must be losing my damned mind. I closed the distance between us, and my eyes slipped closed as he took that for the permission it was.

  Hisashi was right. He wasn't like either of my other lovers. And he sure as hell didn't kiss like an inexperienced kid. His big hands slid around to my back, pressing us even closer as he deepened the kiss. Soft white hair brushed my cheek, and I let my hands trail down to explore that broad chest through his thin t-shirt.

  An impressive bulge pressed against me in just the right place and I let out a hopeless moan, which he swallowed down with another kiss that felt like our souls touching. I pulled back, breathless and panting. Fuck I was in trouble.

  "Oh, don't mind me," a silky-smooth tenor commented to the accompaniment of a metallic jangle. "I just forgot my keys. By all means. Carry on with the pride you aren't building, Gesa darling."

  I stared at Oisin as he leaned insolently against the doorway, his green eyes bright and his half-smirk firmly in place.

  "Oh, for fuck's sake," I said tiredly, still trying to regain my equilibrium from that kiss. Hisashi hadn't moved, and his big hands stroked my hips like he was comforting a skittish animal. It was a wasted effort. "Don't even pretend you aren't jealous right now, you walking cock."

  The fox snorted. His chest shaking with silent laughter. Oisin raised a perfectly arched red brow at me. "And just what do I have to be jealous of, love? I'm hardly concerned you'll leave someone of my skill for a kit."

  Hisashi nuzzled my neck, giving me goose bumps down the whole right side of my body as he whispered in my ear. "Oh, he's definitely jealous."

  I kept my eyes on Oisin. "Oh, I know he is. But it's hilarious he's trying to pretend I think he gives a fuck about someone else trying to get into our bed." I grinned, feeling a little wicked myself. "He's just pissed I got to kiss you before he did."

  Hisashi tensed and Oisin glared green daggers at me.

  I rolled my eyes. "Fine. I'm sure you're just jealous that you walked in on me kissing another guy. We'll go with that. But for the record, you're both idiots."

  I pulled away from Hisashi. "You got your goodbye kiss. Hurry up or Kaimana is going to come looking for you. I don't think I could survive what might happen if she thinks she missed out on all the fun."

  The fox laughed and brushed a hand through my hair in parting. "Don't be too hard on him," he said with a smile. "Fae egos are fragile things."

  I couldn't help laughing at the glare Oisin sent Hisashi's way as the fox left the room.

  Chapter 14

  When Oisin's glare turned to me, I crossed my arms over my chest and glared right back. "Oh, come off it, Oisin. Tell me what's really the matter. I know you aren't disappointed Hisashi is making himself at home."

  The fae swirled his keyring around a slender finger as he cautiously paced toward me. "I'm torn," he said, flicking his eyes toward the direction Hisashi had disappeared. "You know I don't want him in any danger. Hell, I don'
t want you in danger either. And my simply breathing means danger for anyone I grow attached to."

  I held out my arms. "Just come here already, fae."

  He hesitated for a moment, tilting his head. "What did he say to you?" I could feel the anger and accusation coloring his words.

  "Calm down," I said, wiggling my fingers in a "come here" motion like I was beckoning to a cat. "He only said he was worried. And that you think for some reason I would stop loving your snarky ass. As if that is even possible with all the fae glamour and magic you've cast on me."

  He snorted and stepped closer. "Your attraction to me is nothing but my natural allure. Magic has nothing to do with it." He tilted his perfect nose.

  I suppressed a smile and batted my eyelashes, trying my best to simper. "I don't know..." I said slowly. "Are you sure about that? I mean, gryphons are only attracted to big, strong, alpha males. And I wouldn't want to do anything that wasn't in line with my stereotype. Also, I'm a girl, so you're probably right about me not being able to handle whatever icky, scary things are in your past."

  He smiled at me with is sharp canines on display and no glamour. I knew that look. It was the look he wore when he was about to gut someone. "Are you accusing me of stupidly underestimating you?"

  I shrugged. "If the curly-toed elf shoe fits...."

  He heaved a sigh. "Do we have to do this?"

  I held my ground. "Yes. You would think with those big 'ol ears of yours you would have better hearing. Since you are apparently deaf and slow, I will repeat myself. But you know how much I hate emoting, so you better damned well listen this time. I love you. That means all of you. Not just the pretty parts." I gestured grandly at him. "Okay, your turn. This is the part where you stop hiding for once."

  He ran a hand through his hair, destroying the long braid and tearing little wisps free to hang about his face. "Gesa I don't...for fuck's sake. Now?"

  I nodded, trying to pretend seeing him struggle wasn't breaking my heart at little. "Right now. Right here. Go."

  He slumped, dropping into one of the dining room chairs. I followed, sitting across from him when my gryphon demanded I go to him and hold him like a beautiful, broken child.

  "You know I'm not...a good person," he said, leaning his arms on the table and tilting his head down to hide his eyes. "Why do you want to know about my past?"

  I reached across the table and squeezed his hand. "Because it is obviously driving you crazy right now, idiot." When his eyes met mine, demanding the truth, I grumbled. "And because I can't fucking protect you if I don't know what to protect you from."

  He gave a wry laugh. "Gryphons."

  I shrugged. I was the way I was. No point in denying it.

  "Gesa, you can't protect me, certainly not from the past, from things that already happened long before you were even born." His soft voice was serious but resigned. He knew I was going to try anyway.

  "Don't care," I said firmly. "Lay it on me."

  He glared. "Gesa, just drop it for fuck's sake."

  I shook my head and glared right back. "No. A little bird told me that whatever you're hiding, you're afraid it will scare me away. You're wrong. That's just damned stupid." I arched a brow at him. "But you know what will drive me away? You keeping secrets from me. I won't tolerate lies—not when it matters, Oisin. I got enough of that shit back in my clan."

  He huffed, but I could tell by the way the corners of his mouth pinched, that dart had hit its mark. He knew what my clan's lies meant to me.

  He sat back, pulling his hand from mine, staring over my shoulder with that distant look I knew meant he was reliving something that had happened so long ago it was incomprehensible to most creatures. "I had siblings," he said, surprising me. "They were...fae, of course, so I can't say they were kind or good. But they were my family. I loved them, in my own way."

  I kept quiet, feeling he needed to get this out without my interrupting. This level of sharing was so foreign coming from him. I didn't want to interrupt and break the spell.

  "I killed them," he said calmly. "Murdered them in cold blood as if it meant nothing. I slit Daemon's throat." His face showed no emotion, but his voice wavered, ever so slightly. "I stabbed Gloriana through the heart with an iron dagger. I broke little Daffid's neck like it was a bundle of twigs. I can still feel the sensation. The crunching under my fingers." He tossed a laugh in there for good measure. "I can hardly stand the sound of crunching potato chips and cracking knuckles to this day."

  I didn't buy into his lack of emotion. My throat was dry and my eyes watered. I swallowed hard and tried to mimic his complacent tone, but I failed miserably. My voice as raw with shock and pity. "Oh Oisin, why?"

  He took a deep breath. "My father. Why else? I watched him. Either he didn't know I was there, hidden behind the tapestry of the tree of life that hung on their bedroom wall—or he knew, and he didn't care. I watched him use mage magic to drain my mother's power from her body. She screamed and fought. But she couldn't win. It destroyed her soul and left her mad and broken, like a defective doll. He grew younger, stronger. She wasted away within days, which, honestly was a blessing after what he did to her mind."

  I wanted to reach for him again, but I knew he wouldn't let me. His green eyes came back to the present, and they seared into me. I could almost feel the horror and pain he must have felt. And the desperation. I thought I knew where this story was going. And I didn't want to hear it. But I told him I would love him all. So that meant carrying this with him.

  "He was planning to drain us all. Over time. I think he only bred more children so he would have a steady supply over the years as his magic waned. But you can't hallow out a vessel that's already empty."

  I shook my head, but he kept going. "They knew. Daemon came to me and begged me. He didn't want our father to continue to live for eons on stolen power. But no one was strong enough to stop him. So... we took away his power source."

  He turned his graceful hands palms-up on the table, curling and uncurling his fingers. "I was the oldest. I'm not sure what he was saving me for, or why he decided to sell me now, when he's hoarded my power for so long. But I took responsibility for the others. I spied on him. I found out when he impregnated a new, unsuspecting fae woman. I tried to keep the children safe. And every time, I failed.

  So, I killed them before he could use them and turn them into empty shells. Daemon and Gloriana at least begged me to do it. But Daffid...." He paused to press his lips together, fighting the emotions I could see swimming in his eyes. "He was only a child. Explaining to him how evil the world was before I took him from it seemed even more cruel. So, I read him a story and stroked his golden curls until he was asleep. Then I broke his neck. It was swifter than any poison I could think of. And I couldn't stand the thought of taking a blade to him."

  I ignored the tears that were flowing down my cheeks like a river. "Fuck, Oisin."

  He looked at me and his own eyes were overflowing. I'd never seen him cry. Hell, I'd never seen him sad. Or hurt. Or afraid. I stood and finally did what my gryphon was screaming for me to do. I rounded the table and dropped to my knees, pulling him into a fierce hug. "Gods, fae. No one should ever have to...I'll fucking murder your father. And your whole clan for letting this happen."

  He was rigid in my arms at first, then he slowly relaxed, collapsing against me. "They don't know," he whispered. "The clan just thinks he's this all-powerful being. And no one is strong enough to speak up against him, so even if they suspect, they say nothing."

  I pulled back, gripping his shoulders and giving him a shake. "Except you. How long? How long have you fought him, all alone?"

  He clenched his jaw, the lean muscles of his cheeks flexing with the force of it. "Five hundred years. Every time he managed to mate with another strong fae and sire a child, I was there, waiting to foil his plans. He's turned to draining lower class fae, which I couldn't stop. But he's not had royal power to boost him since my mother."

  I shook my head. "No more. We
will stop this asshole. No matter what favors we have to call in."

  He stared at me as I stroked his hair back from his face. "You...aren't repulsed?" he whispered.

  I frowned at him. "By the sperm donor who calls himself your father? Fuck yes, I'm repulsed. I'm so pissed I can barely stay human right now." My claws kept wanting to shoot out from my fingers, my gryphon demanding we protect our mate.

  Oisin laughed, the soft wheeze building to a full body event that left his eyes watering as my fae held his stomach. "Gods, Gesa," he wheezed. "Seriously?"

  I tilted my head. What the hell was wrong with him now? "What?"

  He cupped my face in his hands and stared into my eyes as his laughter fizzled. "I'm positively dripping in blood and sins, you foolish beast. I murdered my own family. And I've been too weak to stop this monster from existing, too proud to end my own life, so in the end he will probably use my power to live another thousand years. And you act as if nothing has changed."

  I shook my head at his idiocy and covered his hands with mine. "Because nothing has changed, you ass. Are you still not listening to me?" I reached up to tug lightly at one of his pointed ears.

  He pressed his forehead to mine. "I don't deserve your loyalty and devotion, beautiful beast," he whispered. "But Gods, I am selfish enough to be glad for it."

  I laughed and kissed him on the forehead. "See," I said, sitting back on my heels. "Was that so damned hard?"

  He grinned at me and everything was right in my world. "Oh, no, not hard at all. I love sharing every painful horror I've ever lived. This was fun. Would you like me to tell you about the times I rode in the wild hunt under my father's compulsion? Maybe I could tell you about fairy circles some time."

  I clapped a hand over his wicked mouth. "Some other time."

  He licked my hand and I drew away to wipe it on my jeans. "Eew. Now that was repulsive."

  Chapter 15